Ah, Marriage

Ah, Marriage

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Who Am I and What is This About?

I'm just over forty.  By, um, a few years.  I'm kind of pissed off in a general sense, but also somewhat content, because at this age, we figure out what matters and what we want (or we figure out we need to figure out what matters and what we want.  Any tips?  Please pass forward).  I recently discovered "threading" for my eyebrows (you should do it!  Better than waxing!) and I am a devoted mommy person who misses meetings at work to pick up my kids and listen to them argue over who gets to have the dog sit in their lap on the way to an after school activity that is kind of expensive but seems like it MIGHT be a waste of time.

I have a teaching and writing career, a nutty -- many say "super fun" -- husband who probably has ADHD, Bipolar, and definitely Manic tendencies and lots of time, apparently, to drive me insane even while he too works full time and is raising two kids and listening to me complain and boss him around.  I LOVE to boss him around.  He doesn't like being bossed around in a bossy way.  So we are sort of in a marital crisis, when not having sex or ignoring each other.  Yes, we still do have sex; more on that later.

Oh but here is where I'd really rather know more about you.  Do you know any great marriages?  With kids?  Are they hetero?  Are they over forty??   What makes it so great?

Women Who Get Irritated Too Much and Take it Out on Men


The guy I am married to still does not know what week of my cycle I'm in -- and boy, this knowledge is gold.  If all you have to do to quiet your pathological PMSing wife is appear at the right time with two cartons of ice cream and perhaps some lowfat frozen yogurt -- in case one is "off" ice cream at the moment -- then why not keep track of the effing calendar so you know when to whip those treats out of your bag, so to speak?

Is it really that hard to know if we are getting our period in 5 days?  After years of this?  After being sent to the store for the freeking tampons?  At the very least, do yourself a favor.  But -- alas, he will continue forgetting.  Especially if he is kinda ADHD or really busy or self-absorbed or forgetful or not very activist in such areas.  

Here is what I recommend:

Mark the calendar for him.  I write little frownie faces on each day that I know will be a PMS day.  Like this: